It’s tough being married to a police officer or even being the parent or sibling of a law enforcement officer. There is fear and worry about what might happen to them. There are the moments every time you hear something about a police shooting or an accident involving a police car on the news and you don’t know if it’s your loved one or not. And there are just the everyday issues of dealing with someone who works nights, odd shifts or gets called into work on their time off. Then there is the issue of stress. Some cops share their stresses which can make their loved ones worry more; and some officers shut out their loved ones, and won’t talk about what’s eating at them, which also causes stress in their relationships. The good news is that all around the world there are groups and people starting groups to help these family members cope with these and many other issues. The other day I had a chance to interview two people who are working to do just that for their law enforcement agency…
It was my pleasure to interview Heidi Hansen and Michael Mejia. Michael is an officer with the Twin Cities Police Authority which is a combined department of the communities of Corte Madera and Larkspur California, and Heidi works at a local hospital. I met Heidi through the National Police Wives Association (NPWA) where she was on the board of directors until just recently. Michael and Heidi are living together and raising a child together and both are attending college full time while working full time as well. In addition to all of that, they are working to form a Family Group at the Twin Cities Police Authority to help support family members of the law enforcement agency. Continue reading
Yesterday I had a chance to talk with Linda, a police officers wife, and a member of the board of directors of The National Police Wives Association. Linda and I had an excellent discussion about what it’s like to be married to a cop and what it means to be in a relationship with someone in a law enforcement career. As a police wife, Linda told me that she has to be part of an entire law enforcement agency’s family and all that comes with it. She told me about creating an support network with other police wives and how she deals with stress. We talked about raising kids in a police family and about how cops deal with line of duty deaths.
You can learn more about The National Police Wives Association or contact Linda directly by CLICKING HERE to visit their website at www.NationalPoliceWivesAssociation.org.
If you would like to listen to our interview please click the replay button below or RIGHT CLICK HERE (that’s CONTROL CLICK if you use a Mac) to download (SAVE LINK AS…) a copy of the mp3 file.
CopsAlive asked relationship expert Janice Hoffman for some suggestions that police officers could consider before they become involved in a committed relationship or marriage and here is her article with some of our cop specific additions.
Falling in love is a beautiful thing. When we meet that special person, we want get to know them. We ask lots of questions, listen with curiosity and in the process fall deeper in love. If it feels right, we make the decision to share the rest of our lives together.
As a cop the desire to go from being single to married is a big step and should be taken very seriously. Sometimes the person we fall in love with has responsibilities they bring with them so it behooves us to learn as much as possible about this person we love and want to marry. Don’t forget also that inviting someone into the world of law enforcement also carries a lot of baggage and some people may not be ready so don’t withhold information from them thinking that you are helping them. It is always a good idea to fully inform your prospective mate of all that you think is important for them to know about your police career. Continue reading
Cops work and live in all kinds of relationships. We may have a car partner or a detective partner that we interact with or we might have a team that we work with. We certainly interact with many peers and supervisors all shift long for four or five days a week. We work with the community, with the schools, with business leaders, religious leaders, social service and mental health providers and lots and lots of people.
Additionally we may also be involved in a romantic relationship or marriage in our private life that may or may not overlap with work. For all of this human interaction you would think that we would be great at building and maintaining strong and lasting relationships, but I think most of us would agree that’s not always the case. Continue reading
Now this is a touchy subject for cops to discuss honestly. I know, some of you out there have been happily married for over 25 years but you have to admit that as a group we don’t manage relationships nor marriage very well.
Maybe we would fare better if we had some rules to follow. I asked relationship expert Janice Hoffman who has written a very helpful book entitled “Relationship Rules” for some suggestions and she gave me some rules that just might help out. Continue reading
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