CopsAlive asked relationship expert Janice Hoffman for some suggestions that police officers could consider before they become involved in a committed relationship or marriage and here is her article with some of our cop specific additions.
Falling in love is a beautiful thing. When we meet that special person, we want get to know them. We ask lots of questions, listen with curiosity and in the process fall deeper in love. If it feels right, we make the decision to share the rest of our lives together.
As a cop the desire to go from being single to married is a big step and should be taken very seriously. Sometimes the person we fall in love with has responsibilities they bring with them so it behooves us to learn as much as possible about this person we love and want to marry. Don’t forget also that inviting someone into the world of law enforcement also carries a lot of baggage and some people may not be ready so don’t withhold information from them thinking that you are helping them. It is always a good idea to fully inform your prospective mate of all that you think is important for them to know about your police career. Continue reading
Cops work and live in all kinds of relationships. We may have a car partner or a detective partner that we interact with or we might have a team that we work with. We certainly interact with many peers and supervisors all shift long for four or five days a week. We work with the community, with the schools, with business leaders, religious leaders, social service and mental health providers and lots and lots of people.
Additionally we may also be involved in a romantic relationship or marriage in our private life that may or may not overlap with work. For all of this human interaction you would think that we would be great at building and maintaining strong and lasting relationships, but I think most of us would agree that’s not always the case. Continue reading
Now this is a touchy subject for cops to discuss honestly. I know, some of you out there have been happily married for over 25 years but you have to admit that as a group we don’t manage relationships nor marriage very well.
Maybe we would fare better if we had some rules to follow. I asked relationship expert Janice Hoffman who has written a very helpful book entitled “Relationship Rules” for some suggestions and she gave me some rules that just might help out. Continue reading