It’s tough being married to a police officer or even being the parent or sibling of a law enforcement officer. There is fear and worry about what might happen to them. There are the moments every time you hear something about a police shooting or an accident involving a police car on the news and you don’t know if it’s your loved one or not. And there are just the everyday issues of dealing with someone who works nights, odd shifts or gets called into work on their time off. Then there is the issue of stress. Some cops share their stresses which can make their loved ones worry more; and some officers shut out their loved ones, and won’t talk about what’s eating at them, which also causes stress in their relationships. The good news is that all around the world there are groups and people starting groups to help these family members cope with these and many other issues. The other day I had a chance to interview two people who are working to do just that for their law enforcement agency…
It was my pleasure to interview Heidi Hansen and Michael Mejia. Michael is an officer with the Twin Cities Police Authority which is a combined department of the communities of Corte Madera and Larkspur California, and Heidi works at a local hospital. I met Heidi through the National Police Wives Association (NPWA) where she was on the board of directors until just recently. Michael and Heidi are living together and raising a child together and both are attending college full time while working full time as well. In addition to all of that, they are working to form a Family Group at the Twin Cities Police Authority to help support family members of the law enforcement agency.
Heidi connected with me after I interviewed Linda another police wife and also a board member of NPWA. Heidi and Michael have been together for the past five years and are currently starting a family group for his police department. They recognized a need to connect and support family members within their agency and they are also working together on a book for Public Safety Families to help them understand and navigate life inside the law enforcement family itself.
This all ties into their future aspirations as Michael hopes to get at least his Master’s in Psychology, if not a full doctorate and Heidi is working on a double major, hoping to graduate in Biology and Psychology, then to go on to Medical school. They told me that their main goal is to use their degrees to help other Law Enforcement families any way that we can.
I encourage you to listen to our interview and expect that you will find them as geniune and engaging as I did. They are two truly great people doing great things with the thought of helping others in law enforcement. Bravo!
If you would like to listen to our interview please click the replay button below or RIGHT CLICK HERE to download (that’s CONTROL CLICK if you use a Mac then SAVE LINK AS…) a copy of the mp3 file.
You can contact Michael and Heidi here.
Just click below to open your email program.
CLICK HERE to email Michael
CLICK HERE to email Heid
Heidi also connected me to Lori and Dave Barron in Indiana who were helpful in providing SOP’s and other information to get Michael and Heidi started with the creation of their family support group.
Lori’s husband Dave has been on the Evansville Indiana Police Department for 18 years. In 2003 he was involved in an officer involved shooting which resulted in the death of the criminal. Shortly after that time he and another officer developed the peer support team for Evansville and about 3 years ago Lori co-developed the family support team with Emily Sandullo, another police wife. At that time their department had no support for the families of their officers. Now if an officer is involved in a critical incident, their family support group members are called out too to be with the family. Lori told me that they are also talking with the new recruits and their families about their experiences as family members of police officers and that the support group is there for them if needed. Lori heads up a group that meets quarterly and currently it includes wives and mothers of police officers. Lori also said it has been her desire to help other departments see the importance of these programs and help set them up. We at CopsAlive will follow up with the Evansville programs in another post and describe how to set up a new program.
Here are some links to and stories about other family support groups found on the internet:
Raleigh Police Family Support Group Lends Hand To Wake County
After The Wake County Sheriff’s Office lost three deputies in a few months. The deaths left the sheriff’s office and its families grieving. The Raleigh Police Department Family Support Group stepped in to lend a helping hand.
The Los Angeles Police Department Family Support Group was founded in 1983 following the death of Police Officer Paul Verna, who was killed while on active duty under the command of Chief Daryl F. Gates.
Chief Gates, after meeting with Detective Wraydine Mercer and Sandy Verna realized the need for a support group comprised of women with one main thing in common…GRIEF. Despite their varying backgrounds, the women of the Family Support Group transcend differences to support one another through the grieving process
The Los Angeles Police Department Family Support is made up of women who have become members not of their own choice but because of the loss of the one we loved most.
The Family Support Group is filled with wonderful women who rejoice in each other’s successes and growth but also hold and nurture each other through their most dire of times. Not too many people can say they know how you feel and really know how you feel. They do.
Some of the group have been widows for many years and some only a few or less than a year, some remarried, some not. But they all have something in common and no one can take that away, this is why they’ve grown so close to each other, respect each other and accept each other.
In addition to NPWA there is also the PoliceWives.Org established in 2002 for the support of LEO’s and their families. They are a unique group consisting of women & men from all walks of life, who share a common bond of having a loved one in Law Enforcement.
CLICK HERE for an Interesting article on death in a police family and it’s support network
CLICK HERE for another good article from a police wife’s perspective
CLICK HERE for an Interesting article on the effects of stress on cop’s kids
CLICK HERE for some brief information on the 617th Military Police Family Support Group from
Maybe we can all learn from what all of these people are doing and maybe you could start a similar group at your agency.
CopsAlive.com was founded to provide information and strategies to help police officers successfully survive their careers. We help law enforcement officers and their agencies prepare for the risks that threaten their existence.
We do this by Helping Law Enforcement professionals plan for happy, healthy and successful lives on the job and beyond. We think the best strategy is for each officer to create a tactical plan for their own life and career.
I would like to say that I think the security of the people of the communities is very important but I first and for most would have to say that officers should have a pay raise and should also host more events to interact with the people so everyone can see eye to eye because every one is the same but law enforcement is risking their lives day to day to protect and serve their communities for the citizens of that place but the citizens are on the other side of the fence we can try to understand but we will not be fully able to understand because we are not a officer risking our lives so I know we should take action and tell the police more of how we appreciate them for what they do and not what’s on tv because the media will blow things out of proportion for the better or worse so its up to us to come together so we all can be united as one so the future can be and will be brighter and sweet and not so evil and bitter so I would have to say #AllLivesMatter and this would be a Great start to a beautiful world to live in with sun shines and rainbows even tho the world is not just that but its the message that will come across because every one should feel loved at the end of the day because that’s all anyone ever really wants is to be loved, accepted, and protected so support the good and wish the best for the bad but its up to you to lead by example so host a meeting with the communitys and make programs where you have to hear each other out like
what if there was a tv series/or program were there is no right or wrong but a perspective to make each side understand
were it could even be made up like the people can get voted for scenarios to act out and the the fans of the show choose whos right or wrong
by texting a 180-alllivesmatter text on who they feel was right that episode a good reference I would say American idol
so now the people cant be mad with the decision of who wins cause you would have to tune in to
get the winner I promise this would grab the communitys attention
every one would love this show we live in a technology era were a lot of people are lazy
so this show would give everyone the power to choose and pick and this would get people more involved so you tell me (am I wrong or right)
this will make kids social medias go crazy so they can feel they have a voice to because they are not legal to vote so this would give them practice
show name (Am I Wrong Or Right)
……p.s I just wanna thank all of the brave officers who risk their lives to protect and serve their countrys and all of the officers who lost there lives on duty I just wanna say may your legacy carry on #AllLivesMatter #DreamChaser
In the process of starting a support law enforcement program to help support those who need help dealing with medical problems , or when a Law Officer is injuried or shot in the line of duty due to the increase of shootings in South Carolina I Have 30 years of Law Enforcement as of August 24 2016, I am 51 years old and still got slit to give my Country and would like to help those in need of support I can’t win the lottery so I thought I would start a program to get citizens and business to help. Any type of good information please advise me. Sincerely Yours
Deputy James Florida
Edgefield County Sheriff Office
I am a Sgt in a 56 officer department in Texas, and exploring starting an FSG here. Do any agencies that you know have any policies regarding FSG’s? I am also retired US Army so am familiar with the military model of the FSG.
Wondering if someone could give me some information on support for officers involved in shootings. Seems like the dept and Google are going in circles I can’t find any concrete info anywhere
Thank you for your kind comments. Please let us know if we can do anything to help your group.
We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our
community. Your web site provided us with valuable information
to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and
our whole community will be grateful to you.
Thanks for your comment. Shift work is very difficult for law enforcement officers and their families alike. As challenging as it is for the officers and the agency, police work necessitates 24 hour coverage. At least family members can get support from each other if you have a family program within your agency. If you don’t the people at the Law Enforcement Family Support Network have some great resources to get you started.
thank you for this interview. I am having a really hard time with my husband’s constant changing shifts and days off. It has been in excess for 6 months now and won’t be any better for at least another 3. It is very saddening when you have 2 children and a busy lifestyle. This helped to hear that I am not crazy and others deal with similar instances.
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