The Crazy Lives of Police Wives

CrazyLivesOfPoliceWivesCoverEDITORS NOTE: The following article was submitted by Carolyn Whiting co-author of the new book: The Crazy Lives of Police Wives. This is a book written for and by police wives.  Please support them!

You can’t fix it if you don’t know it’s broken. That goes for people as well as machines. PTSD, suicide, alcoholism and domestic violence are all indicators of broken/hurt people that may go unrecognized. How can you fix the person who is hurting if he can’t be reached or he doesn’t understand that he needs help? There are too many stories about yet another police officer killing himself or another police family battling alcoholism behind the closed doors of their home, in secrecy and shame. It doesn’t have to be that way. Think of the lives that might be changed if only these hurting families knew about the myriad of resources available and the many groups with knowledge and experience waiting in the wings, eager to help. The Crazy Lives of Police Wives is a new book written for and by police wives that broaches these painful… subjects and shares information in a safe and non-threatening manner, in amongst other information helpful to police wives.

A wife knows her husband better than anyone else does and she is often the first to see the warning signs that something is not quite right with her husband. He may no longer be the man she married but the change has been gradual over the course of a few years. When hurting or in emotional trouble, a man may be more likely to let his guard down with his wife or bring his problems home while he still can manage to hide his problems from his co-workers. She may notice he is not sleeping well and having nightmares,, he may be a bit more grumpy and seem to be looking for a fight or perhaps the can of beer before dinner has turned into a six pack. She loves him dearly, knows him inside and out and even the most subtle change may be apparent to her before his friends at work notice any danger signs. Unfortunately a wife may know something is a little “off” or even very wrong but she does not necessarily understand the changes and may not associate symptoms with a particular illness. The person needing the help may not be the officer but might be his wife. The Crazy Lives of Police Wives shares stories from women who have lost a loved one to suicide, a woman whose mother was an alcoholic, a retired police officer who is a recovering alcoholic, and domestic violence survivors. Their stories may give the reader the impetus and the courage to seek help.

Along with shared stories, the warning signs, symptoms and resources for assistance follow the stories. While PTSD, suicide, alcoholism and domestic violence are important subjects discussed, they are not the main thrust of the book. Putting such important topics within a book that is chock full of other police wife subjects may catch the wife in an unguarded moment, enabling her to digest the information in the comfort and safety of her living room.

Police wives face challenges that bring unique stress to their lives and The Crazy Lives of Police Wives leaves no stone unturned. All subjects are fair game for discussion. The reader may alternate from an “ah-ha” moment to dissolving in laughter on the same page as police wives share their coping strategies so that the reader not only feels included in the discussion but walks away with possible solutions to common police wife problems.

A new challenge might be as simple as what gift to get a husband for his police academy graduation. More difficult challenges that police wives face include what to do with family and friends who let their dislike of police officers be known, what to do about the loneliness of coming home to an empty house when a husband is working nights, living with the daily fear of the “knock on the door,” communicating with a husband after he has a particularly difficult day at work, how to raise kids around guns, living on a police paycheck and even the challenge of unique laundry stain removal.

Writing The Crazy Lives of Police Wives was a labor of love for the authors and a gift to The Thin Blue Line Family we all are blessed to belong to, with the intent of helping other police wives navigate the many challenges they will face throughout their husband’s career. To further this purpose, all author’s profit will be donated to a police related charity. It is the authors’ hope that this book will find its way into every law enforcement family’s home, giving the help needed at various stages of a family’s life. Perhaps it might help a young wife understand that she is not alone with the new challenges she was not prepared for, an older wife may learn more about the challenges of marriage, kids and preparing for retirement. A family in trouble, even if they cannot define exactly what is happening, just might be reached and a crisis averted.

You can reach the authors on their Facebook page at:

I bought the Kindle version of this excellent book and found it to be a superb resource and I highly encourage you to purchase it to support what these women are doing. You can find the book on at this link:

CopsAlive is written to prompt discussions within our profession about the issues of law enforcement career survival. We invite you to share your opinions, ask questions and suggest topics for us in the Comment Box that is at the bottom of this article.

At The Law Enforcement Survival Institute (LESI) we train law enforcement officers to cope with stress and manage all the toxic effects and hidden dangers of a career in law enforcement.

Our “Armor Your Self™: How to Survive a Career in Law Enforcement” on-site training program is an eight hour, hands-on, “How to” seminar that helps police officers and other law enforcement professionals armor themselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to survive their careers in police work. To learn more CLICK HERE

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I’m John Marx, Founder of The Law Enforcement Survival Institute and the Editor of Connect with me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. was founded to provide information and strategies to help police officers successfully survive their careers. We help law enforcement officers and their agencies prepare for the risks that threaten their existence. Thank you for reading!

About Editor

John Marx was a Police Officer for twenty-three years and served as a Hostage Negotiator for nineteen of those years. He worked as a patrol officer, media liaison officer, crime prevention officer and burglary detective. Also during his career he served as administrator of his city's Community Oriented Governance initiative through the police department's Community Policing project. Today John combines his skills to consult with businesses about improving both their security and their customer service programs. John retired from law enforcement in 2002. When one of his friends, also a former police officer, committed suicide at age 38, John was devastated and began researching the problems that stress creates for police officers. He decided he needed to do something to help change those problems and he wanted to give something back to the profession that gave him so much. He started a project that has evolved into Put simply, the mission of CopsAlive is to save the lives of those who save lives! gathers information, strategies and tools to help law enforcement professionals plan for happy, healthy and successful careers, relationships and lives.
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One Comment

  1. This book is a long time coming a fun read & also sheds light on some of the other side of a cops life.

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